The Art of Winning Blog

Monday, November 4, 2013

Aidan O'Brien Turner's Black Belt Essay

 

Black Belt Essay
By Aidan O’Brien-Turner
Aidan when he started training.
As I go through life I often think back on the code of mindful actions and the eight transformational powers. They make a crucial part in most of my decisions. Though they all are helpful, I find that six certain transformational powers and codes are especially helpful in my daily decisions and choices.
The first one, see the value of each moment, helps me find that rarely anything is a waste of time. This can help me when I’m doing things like boring school work. All I have to do is remember all the things I’ve learned and how important they are. I can also think of how I would operate in the world as an adult without these tools. Then I can get back to work and think of it as a good use of time, not a waste of time.
Also, if I get in an argument with one of my friends or parents, I’ll think it’s a huge waste of time. Sometimes it is, in which case I’ll drop it, but most of the time it’s not. When it isn’t, I’ll think what would happen if they didn’t know what hurt my feelings and kept doing it (usually on accident, of course). Also, it almost always clears something up. Either I was mean to them and I didn’t know it, or they were mean to me and they didn’t know it. Once I remember this, I’ll let them know what’s bothering me or ask what’s bothering them.
The second one is say the right words. This helps me keep important friendships with people. If I’m about to blurt out a retort or a sarcastic comment, I’ll think about how I would feel if they said that to me. I also think about what would happen to our friendship if I say that. It’s usually not that good, so I hold my tongue. If I am deciding weather or not to say something that could feel negative, I all most never say it.
Also, if someone is feeling down or needing support, I try to find words that would comfort them most. If they’re sad, I’ll try to cheer them up. If they’re just having a rough day, I’ll give them some words of encouragement. If they’re mad at me or someone else, I’ll ask them what they need or try to make it up to them. And if nothing’s wrong, I’ll still try to compliment them on something if they’re doing a good job at it.
The third one, see things as they are, helps me realize what’s really going on. Sometimes when I hear a rumor or see an argument, I’ll think I know what’s going on, but the reality of it is really very different. In this case I usually get pretty watery and observe the situation before I get all fiery. This helps me to not get fooled by any silly story.
Also, if a story seems unlikely, I try not to just assume that they’re lying. I consider the fact that they might be exaggerating, telling a white lye, telling the truth of an unlikely story, or just saw the situation differently. Assuming someone’s lying is a good way to get one in trouble.
The fourth one is I avoid the dull contentment of gossip and small talk. This helps me and others feel good. If I tell something bad about someone behind their back, it might spread and they might feel bad. Also, if I say something bad about someone, the person I say it to might not want to be friends with them. And if the person hears, they might think that other people think the same way about them, and soon become very sad and lonely. That person could also think that people were spreading other untrue rumors about them.
Gossip can also hurt you and make you feel bad. If you say something bad about another person and they find out, they might not want to be your friend. You might also feel very guilty about it. If the person you tell is a friend of the person being gossiped upon, they might feel like they shouldn’t be friends with you. If this keeps happening you could lose friends at a very quick rate. People would mistrust you, and might spread gossip about you to. Gossip is a bad idea if you want to keep strong friendships.
The fifth one, I avoid the negative affects of worry, doubt, and regret, reminds me that you have to take care of yourself before taking care of others. It is more important to avoid the negative affects, as it says in the code. The negative affects can, for me, include anger, jealousy, and selfishness. These are not good qualities to have whatsoever.
When one has these characteristics, life can be difficult for them. They might not get good jobs, and might not have strong friendships. Most people, including myself, tend to get nervous around these people and might not want them in their life. This person might then get angrier, more jealous, and more selfish. This would create an ongoing circle, is not a good way to go though life.
The sixth line is I avoid causing alienation, doubt and division among others. It makes me realize how powerful words can be. But the worst thing about them is that once they’re said, there’s no taking them back. Saying words that can push someone out of the group or make them less confident in their abilities should just never be said. Even if you don’t mean them, they can still be harsh and cause trouble. Thinking about the affect your words will have on someone is a good strategy for one who wants to make and keep friends.
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To see Aidan test for his Shodan, 1st Degree Black Belt, please join us at Winter Warrior Weekend, Feb 28-Mar 2. 
https://www.boulderquest.com/events/winter-warrior-2014/

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