The Art of Winning Blog

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Surfer Chick Heart Sutra

Inspiration sometimes comes in convoluted ways. You can point to triggers but exactly why or how it manifest in that way at that moment is hard to pinpoint. In it's own way, it is an example of the Heart Sutra. In this case, I was at a cello concert. Talk of the Heart Sutra and how to make it into a song arose. I started to think about how you would explain the Hear Sutra in today's vernacular. Following is fairly accurate discussion my inner Surfer had with my inner Skeptic. In my imagination, the Surfer talked while the Skeptic nodded. Whenever Skeptic wanted to argue, Surfer was right there with the answer.

Dude, like the red pill or the green pill, doesn't matter. It's all the same.

You know matter is neither created or destroyed. Therefore, there's no birth or death. There are moments with those names but it's not precisely true.

This camera, it can see what's going on over there and show it here, so eyes aren't necessary for sight. I can plant a bug in a room and it will record the noise, essentially hearing them, so ears aren't really needed for hearing. Quadriplegics can communicate through technology and move with assisted devices they control with there minds so a body doesn't have a set function it must perform. Therefore, there can be no absolute definition that contains all of the functions of the Eye, Ear, Nose, Body, or Mind.

People relate to colors differently. Some people taste color. Others are color blind. Some people will sell you before they see you. Others will hear you. Some people have sophisticated palates. Some can barely taste at all. Therefore there is no absolute of see, smell, taste, touch, thing.

But when we destroy Birth, Death, Body, Mind, the Senses and the Sense Organs, we take out the base constructs for how we build a world. All our ideas have these blocks as a base construction and when we take them away, no idea is an absolute. Not even this.

Then what's left is only this moment. The moment before we observe it. Like Schrodinger's Cat, all probabilities exist until they are observed, but we are only really observing the past. So is the observation the experience or does it change it?

So this moment is when the mind is blown. This is the moment when all possibilities are split open and you realize that more is possible then you ever imagined. Limits are just paper obstacles based on paper constructs. It's not to think outside the box but to recognize you built an imaginary box around yourself. It isn't really there.

Mind Blown. Dude.

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Office Ninja Position Available

Office Ninja Job Description


Job Title:
Office Ninja

Date Prepared:
September 2015

Reports to:
Chief Ninja

Position Summary:
The Office Ninja is a demanding position that requires your best, not just in your job, but also in your life. The successful Office Ninja leads volunteers and staff with confidence, enthusiasm, and grace. The Office Ninja drives organization and looks for ways to improve processes and procedures. The Office Ninja leads a person from Prospect through to Student and shares Student responsibilities with the Head Instructor.

An Office Ninja:
&  Tunes the administrative engine so everything runs smoothly
&  Engages people in the art
&  Makes people feel welcome
&  Helps people commit to the path
&  Loves organizing
&  Believes in To-Shin Do, Stephen K. Hayes, and themselves
&  Wants to make a difference

Key Measures For Success:
&  24-hour turnaround on Prospect processes, including follow-up calls and data entry
&  24-hour turnaround on Student processes, including follow-up calls, initial paperwork, and billing.
&  Net gains in student counts monthly
&  80% conversion from Prospect to Student
&  100% calendar accuracy
&  All monthly events are on the website and slide show before the month begins. Handouts are 2 months before.

&  Execution of Prospect Processes
o   Enrolls new students
o   Follow-Up calls and emails
o   Appointment scheduling
o   Database management
&  Execution of Enrollment Process, including cancellations and holds
&  Monthly Tuition Billing (non auto-bill)
&  Marketing for Events
o   Internal flyers
o   Website
o   Event registrations
&  Scheduling
o   Leads weekly scheduling meeting
o   Maintains paper and online calendar
o   Liaison with students and staff for private lesson and special event scheduling
&  Retail
o   Manages retail display
o   Suggests new items for ordering
&  Purchasing
o   Office, janitorial, and uniforms
&  Front Desk
o   Graduation preparation
o   Answering phones
o   Selling retail items
o   Scheduling lessons

Required Knowledge/Skills/Abilities:
&  Business writing and etiquette
&  MS Word
&  MS Excel
&  MS Publisher
&  Database management
&  Customer Services skills

Required Education/Experience:
Some college preferred

Expected Hours:
This position is extremely flexible and can be divided into different positions for the right candidates.
*Could have some of these hours as an Instructor for the right candidate*


Starts at $9-10+/hour plus bonuses (generally becomes $11-$13/hour). A raise is possible in the first 60 days for exceeding performance objectives. 

To Apply: 
Send a letter of intent to Mary Aitoshi. Priority will be given to candidates whose letter is received by 9/25/2015. 

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Why I Train: Aiden Hovde

Why I Train
My Black Belt Essay
Aiden Hovde
1 July 2015

Dedicated to Bradley Holcomb
My training partner in spirit

When I began To-Shin Do training in January, 2012, it was for the express purpose of working off some wrathful energy.  I soon learned that this particular aim is decidedly inappropriate in a dojo due to the risk of injury.  By then I had become captivated by the Code of Mindful Action and fascinated by the elemental approach, so my new reason for training became sheer curiosity about where this path would lead.

Over time I became delighted with the positive effects training had on my mind and body.  I became more flexible and stronger, my balance improved, my awareness ballooned to many times the spatial volume it used to occupy.  On a few different occasions I was able to save some inattentive pedestrians from traffic-related injury by means of physical intervention and/or my voice.  So I added to my list of reasons for training:  It works!  It’s beneficial!

At some point I had to come up with a concise reason for training to attach to my coaching credentials.  I struggled with it because a generalization referring to efficacy and benefit seemed vague and uncompelling.  If I were a prospective student asking an experienced To-Shin Do student why they train, I don’t think I’d be inspired by such an answer.  After weeks of thinking,  I came up with this: “I train to become the hero I’ve always dreamed of being.”  That statement came close to the tone I had in mind.  It covered the bases.  I think a determined hero strives for a fit body and expanded awareness.  And the statement may be alluring or intriguing especially to younger folks.  On the other hand, to me, although this particular phrasing of my reason for training was true enough, it nonetheless felt a bit contrived and overreaching.  I decided to hang on to it until I came up with something more appropriate.

Last year a friend of mine was justly convicted of a serious crime and sent to prison.  I say “justly” because I attended the trial and saw the evidence and I believe the jury rendered a just verdict.  I was shocked and heartbroken and unnerved and it was as though the ground beneath my feet had given way.  I had thought that my friend and I had shared values.  I had been certain of it.  I had admired my friend as an example to follow.  And then my friend fell.  And I fell.  

Over the course of a year my consternation became more profound.  What is a guiding path anyway?  Are core values not enough by which to navigate through life?  How could this have happened to my friend?  Could it—would it—happen to me?

Eventually my confusion totally undermined any attempt to supplement my training with additional reading and videos.  I would start something and then minutes later find myself pacing my apartment, incessantly asking the same questions over and over, hearing no answers. How could this have happened to my friend?  How can I prevent myself from falling in a similar way?

In desperation I reached out to Aitoshi because she has a gift for reflecting a person’s heart enough for them to see it from a different point of view.  I related to her my history with my friend and at some point she remarked, “It sounds like you have a lot of gratitude for those things.”  And then I had a slap-my-forehead-I-could-have-had-a-V8 moment: Gratitude!  The notion lit up in me so strongly that tears welled up in my eyes, a sure sign that something was resonating.  I knew what I had to do to get through this place of paralyzing confusion.

It took me several weeks to compose a letter of gratitude to my friend.  I expressed my thanks for everything we had shared, everything my friend had taught me, and the crucial thing I was gleaning from my friend’s predicament: “I think I’m learning that while the Code of Mindful Action and other such guidelines can provide signposts, there is no clear path, and even when traveling with fellow warriors, it is up to each one of us to carefully choose our route.”

I mailed the letter, and with that, the obsession evaporated.

As a bonus, I have a new concise reason for training: “I train out of gratitude.”

I think that statement promises to be an excellent conversation-starter.  And if a prospective student draws me out, I will be able to amplify at length.

I train out of gratitude that I still have the physical ability to do so.  (And since we are encouraged to train no matter what our physical ability, I’m fairly assured that I will keep training as long as I draw breath!)

I train out of gratitude that An-shu Stephen K. Hayes spent decades acquiring this ancient wisdom and welding it into a system suitable for Western culture.

I train out of gratitude for a dojo community of like-spirited individuals who accept me as a fellow traveler.

I train out of gratitude for all the opportunities this training provides, including physical benefits, leadership training, spiritual growth, and understanding of the natural world.

I train out of gratitude for teachers who “walk the talk” (no small accomplishment in this day).

I could on and on, as many of my fellow students can and do.  And it’s all encapsulated by this short statement:

“I train out of gratitude.”

Special thanks to Aitoshi for her heart-felt assistance.

Monday, August 17, 2015

Finding Our Voice

Finding Our Voice
by: Ozrich

When I started my training in To-Shin Do, one of the first things that I was taught was the importance of being able to speak intention and power into a space. Each element, I was told, speaks from a different part of our body, whether from our earthy depths as we command someone to “stop it!” or our windy heights as we help remind someone to “take it easy”. 

I've noticed that our art has amazing instructors who not only teach the intellect needed to fight, but the wisdom to live. When I hear the kinds of things that our instructors have to say, it is difficult to not make some kind of vocalization, some kind of affirmation that, “yes, I have heard you and understood you. Thank you!”
It’s like when we first learn the four stages of readiness and we are asked to just “listen to our body”. We begin to realize that someone approaching or entering our space brings up natural responses in us that we usually suppress or ignore because we don’t want to be rude, or “what if we’re wrong”. All of these things keep us from listening to and manifesting our natural response.

During the beginning of my training, it was sometimes embarrassing to make sounds or to really command someone to "Stop it!". When I began to allow myself to make sounds in the dojo, however, I realized just how often I was keeping myself from expressing connection to, appreciation of, and understanding for the people and ideas that we are surrounded by in the dojo.

From there, it was only a short leap to see how those blocks appear elsewhere in my life. How often have I not given thanks when it was due, not said no when I should have, or denied someone the chance to hear that they are loved because of my own internal blocks? 

As always, our training reaches further than the dojo and I wanted to take this opportunity to speak up and encourage others to find their own voices first in the safety of the dojo so that it is ready whenever it may be called on.  

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

On the Rape of Sansa Stark

Warning: This article contains triggers. I know because I wrote it. 

I watched Game of Thrones on Monday (finally caught up--thanks Tivo)! I was astounded by all the hype around her rape scene. Unlike the Lannister rape (which was definitely non-consensual. Even though they'd had sex before doesn't mean Jaime can his way any time he wants it.  See this article on tea and consent if you are still confused), everyone seems really clear that this was in fact, rape. I thought GoT deserved kudos for tackling a subject like marital rape, which is still contentious. It wasn't even acknowledged as a crime until the late 1970s and wasn't illegal in all 50 states (and DC) until 1993. It's still rarely prosecuted.

The click bait headlines referred to it as gratuitous rape (an idea I found so offensive that I had trouble deciding to even click on the articles). Here's why I thought the show was on the money.

  1. Rape happens and it's disgusting, messed up, and gross. 
  2. Rape happens in marriages. 
  3. It happens under the influence of alcohol and drugs. Rape also happens under the influence of power, social norms, and peer pressure (which is why there's a need to change the cultural conversation around rape).
  4. In GoT, the rape was in character for Ramsey. He expresses his disdain for others, like Tyrion, who didn't consummate the marriage. He needs a witness, not just to control Theon/Reek and Sansa, but to cement his need for position. He can do what the powerful Lannister men could not.
But what really got me were the critics who said that it didn't make sense since Sansa has been coming into her power. Really? The truth is the rape isn't about Sansa because it's never about the victim. Strong, powerful, beautiful women get raped in real life. It happens, not because of the dress she wore, but because of the choice the rapist makes. Her strength doesn't protect her from being raped, but I believe it will help her recover from being victimized. (I also predict that in the next few episodes we'll get to explore what it's like to be stuck in a relationship with a power-hungry narcissist.)

While I'm at it, where's the outrage over the tragedy of the House of Tyrell? The faith is now a militant force that can imprison people for having sex with someone of the same sex? His own grandmother called him a "pillow biter". Yet, like the rape scene, this "trial" accurately portrays the effect a militant religious force can have in the modern day. When I searched for articles about it, I mostly found people celebrating the "anti-gay" sentiments they see portrayed in GoT

One of things I like about Game of Thrones is it's willingness to go there and to cross the line. It doesn't hide from the idea that rape happens, and it effects the victim and the people who care about her. Rape isn't nice. It's not an expression of love (ewww, Lannisters, ewww). Prejudice exists. Abuse of power exists. Bad things happen to people even when they make all the right choices. Finally, please don't reduce rape by calling it just a "plot device". Go deeper Senator McCaskill, because one person can change the world...the question is will you change it for better or worse?

Links to Referenced Articles:
Tea and Consent:
Marital Rape:
GoT rape:,
GoT gay trial:

Monday, March 9, 2015

Proof of Magic

For years, decades maybe, I've struggled to articulate the magic of the mind science in our ninja arts. The magic in To-Shin Do is much easier to understand because you can see it and feel it. In fact, all of your senses can experience it. Plus you can record it, take pictures of it, and otherwise prove its existance.

Proof is a funny concept. We often look for proof, not of our experience, but of others' validation of our experience. But in this case, the proof is internally and intrinsically manifested. You might never see the results by looking at outward results. In this 'chose your own adventure' life, we don't get to know where the other forks in the road would've taken us.

This it's almost impossible to describe these mind science trainings. The power of the visualization a and the way I healed this from my past, from my lineage, and from my future, is impossible to explain mechanically. I can say, I woke up a different person each day. Lighter. Brighter. Sometimes even flakier as I try to operate in ordinary reality. 

I love the joy I find in my life. I love that if I was kidnapped and thrown naked out of a plane (see previous blog on Resiliency, Pigsties, and Choice), I'd still be happy. I love that I'm choosing easier paths to joy and never settling for less than what I know is right, even when it doesn't seem rational.

Mostly I love that I'm trusting myself and my experience more and more each day. I don't need to prove magic to you because I live with it as my constant companion. I'd love to share it with you though!

Take a moment today and acknowledge your magic and your joy. Invite doubt to the conversation, but don't let it hold you back. 

Monday, February 9, 2015

How To-Shin Do Saved My Life

How To-Shin Do Saved My Life

By Zipporah Abraham Paiss

It was an ordinary Thursday. I had woken early, attended school, and was dropped off at gymnastics practice. After a quick warmup, I was sent to the balance beam, warmed up, and performed my beam routine. Next, I was sent to the uneven bars.

My coaches explained the allotted time for warm up we would each be given: 30 seconds a person or two turns on the bars before we had to perform a full routine. I put my grips on quickly, not wanting to waste time and hastily applied chalk to the dampened white leather. The short warm up was unusual, typically we were each given two minutes for warm up, but I didn’t fuss. It was competition season and the coaches knew what was best for us.

The typical eight inch mat was absent from beneath the bars, and I requested one for softer landings. My request was denied with a quick smile and encouraging words of “you can do it” and “it’ll be a nice change.” With a deep breath, I jumped off the floor and caught the low bar.

Everything appeared to be going according to plan. I did a kip, jumped to the high bar, and casted to a handstand. Then, with ingrained muscle memory, I began to swing around the bar (a skill called a “giant”).

My body swung 360 degrees around the bar, each muscle tightened to expected performance and my spine was in alignment. After the second giant I swung down from eight feet above the ground and, attempting to slow my velocity, began to pull up for a third giant.

Suddenly I felt my grips leave the bar. The combined lack of chalk on the equipment and hurried warmup had combined to fuel a disaster. Lost in the air, my initial reaction was panic. For a split second I had no sense of direction and was raising up towards the ceiling, over 10 feet off the ground. Then my ninja training kicked in.

I was unaware of my orientation or how many flips my body completed prior to impact, but I knew my priorities. Protect my neck. Without thinking, I threw my arms back behind my head just like I would for a breakfall milliseconds before my arms and upper back slammed into the floor head first. Years of practiced breakfalls had taught my body to tighten its muscles to avoid pain during impact, and muscle memory kicked in tightening my back muscles. As the impact rickashayed down my spine, the clenched back muscles protected my cervical spine from breaking and the arms I had thrust backwards saved my head and neck from collision.

The fall was not painless. Though my spine was protected, my lower back muscles were sprained as a result and a rib or two popped out of place. The impact itself had an accordion effect on my diaphragm and I layed on the ground in astonished shock unable to breath for an undetermined period
of time. Yet, I am walking and talking. The injuries I endured hurt, but they will heal with proper care. Paralysis and death would not heal had I not taken years of ninja training.

I do not have enough words to describe the gratitude I feel for my years of training at the Boulder Quest Center that have kept me safe in gymnastics and on that day probably kept me from being paralyzed. We train and don’t know the moment when all our training will come to bear in the instant when it literally saves your life. I would probably not be writing this note if I hadn’t trained in To-Shin- Do. I knew just what to do without thinking - the benefit of muscle memory and cultivated courage. Thank you, Mary, and all my teachers who gave me what I needed - a Ninja response ingrained from years on the mat. 

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Wren's Thoughts on Kicking A$$

Introduction to To-Shin Do
By Wren Holden

The first time I heard of To-Shin Do was through my school. I decided to attend a college that was a little experimental, so I was at a particularly open time in my life. I was eager to try new things, and I had resolved to become the person that I had always dreamed of becoming, strong, fast, and absolutely no nonsense. When I looked at the class schedule and saw that a martial arts class was offered, I jumped on the chance without really knowing anything about it. I had wanted to pick up a martial art since I was a little kid, and I envisioned myself doing insane spin kicks in back alleys and doing triple back flips like my heroes did in the action movies. I was very excited to emulate Bruce Lee and the other fighters I admired as I went to my first class. However, I found out that To-Shin Do was something a little different.
For one thing, it was practical. I had not expected to be taught things that I would be able to use in a real setting right away. But after the very first class, I was learning pieces of something that I felt could save my life one day. Coming from an environment where I had been told that I, as a woman, was helpless against men and the world, it was a revelation. I felt like I could survive an attack in a back alley for the first time in my life. I had always been prepared to die rather than have something taken from me with violence, I had always been resolved to fight to the bitter end, but I was given a light of hope that first lesson. I was given the option of walking away instead of fighting fruitlessly until I was either ended or left for dead. I found that the way of fighting and the mindset of the Ninja, while not exactly what I had in mind in terms of grace and honor, aligned really closely to how I had lived my life up until that point.
I threw myself into To-Shin Do wholeheartedly. The fighting style and the thinking in combat were less revelation and more seamless acquisition into my life than anything. However, I found that the camaraderie and balance of the art was helping me with everything from keeping my footing on an icy road to controlling my temper. What I thought would be an engaging hobby became a way to learn about myself. I had always been one to keep inside my head, but I had never really cared about what exactly was in there, and what made me tick as a person. Meditation and the code of mindful action really helped me when I was stressed and to find out why I became angry at certain things. My introduction to To-Shin Do even changed the way I approached certain classes, especially when I learned about the different elements and the ways of thinking that go along with them.

 While I still have those fantasies of being able to high kick my opponents into next week, I understand that in a real fight, I have something real to fall back on. I also feel like I am much less likely to get into a fight, physical or verbal, now that I have the responsibility that comes with knowing how to use my body to the degree of effectiveness that this martial art affords. The kindness and balancing part of To-Shin Do is just as important as the striking and the weapons, and in the end it was the balance of the teachings that impressed me and kept me coming back for more. I am really excited to learn more about To-Shin Do as I continue with my study, and I am also excited to work on myself. 

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Stop Thinking

I've been contemplating the nature of Mu Shin (no mind) lately trying to figure out how I would articulate the state of extreme awareness that happens when your brain analysis takes a break. It's not a nothingness, rather it's as vast as the multiverses and just as active. In the midst of this contemplation, I received this incredible essay from Hunter. Please enjoy!

Hunter Streit
Ni-Dan Personal Development Essay

Lots of people say that the sign of a good book is that it “makes you think,” but I’ve found the opposite to be the case. In my experience the most helpful and growthful books are the ones that stop the mind dead in its tracks. These books do not send us cascading into some new train of thought, or add to the content of our minds, but instead wake us up to a new level of awareness. This stopping of the mind is not the same as sinking below thought. It is not that we fall into a kind of stupor, like when we watch television or have had too much to drink. It is mindfulness, rather than mindlessness. We begin to experience reality more directly - through a sort of still and alert presence.
The way in which I’ve grown from reading these kinds of books, is in my ability to find this stillness on my own. Sometimes it only lasts for a few seconds and other times it lasts for a few hours. Often I still find myself caught in the ups and downs of the thinking mind and all of the patterns, compulsions and programming that comes with it. However, being free of the conditioned mind even if it is only for a few moments a day is still infinitely better than never finding it.
Whenever I am able to step out of the thinking mind, I begin to realize how repetitive most of my thoughts are. The majority of these thoughts are part of a collection of stories that I tell myself. I have a story at the ready for virtually every area of my life. And most of these stories (as is the case for many people) are negative. I tell myself these stories on a daily basis, but sometimes I am able to stop, take a breath and catch myself in the act. I have come to realize that the stories themselves are not all that important, the problem arises we believe in the stories and invest in them. This creates a vicious cycle, for not only do we believe in the story, but we begin looking for outside indicators to prove that our story is true. We would often much rather believe that we are correct, even if we do not like what it is we are believing. We invest in these stories and over time it begins to warp our perception of reality. We pay more attention to the things that confirm our story than to anything else. We begin to lose track of the distinction between how things are and how we think they are. In Buddhism this is sometimes called the two-fold truth, which consists of relative truth and absolute truth.
Relative truth is all of the self-produced content that we experience in our mind from moment to moment. It is our emotions, beliefs, likes, dislikes, attractions, aversions and so on. All of this feels very real to us and if often absorbs nearly all of our attention. The truth is, that none of this content exists for anyone other than ourselves. Relative truth is the reason why our own internal experience varies from those of everyone else. We can empathize or extrapolate on how someone else thinks or feels, but it will still be heavily biased by how we ourselves view the world. We only ever experience the world from our own perspective, which is filtered by our conditioning. What each of us experiences is therefore only of relative truth, because the world is not experienced the same way by everyone else, and so how can it be completely true? How each of us sees things is very subjective. Knowing this helps us to remember not to take our version of events quite so seriously.
Absolute truth means that reality simply is as it is. Two people may perceive the same situation completely differently from one another, but the situation itself has not changed. Only the individual perception of that situation has changed. Absolute truth is un-biased, it is not good or bad, desirable or undesirable, helpful or harmful. Realizing absolute truth is helpful in so far as it lifts some of the importance we place on how we (as an individual person) see the world around us. We come to realize that the seeing itself is unconditioned. It is how we react to or interpret our experiences that begin to separate us from reality. Recognizing absolute truth is the beginning of a separation between subject and object, between the observer and the observed.
This kind of reading has been helpful to me because it forces me to understand it through a different means than conceptual thinking. When I try and make “absolute truth and relative truth” something to understand or conceptualize, it is meaningless. I can usually tell with this kind of reading when I am in the thinking mind, versus when I am approaching it from a place of deeper attention. When I am in the thinking mind I usually become complacent and bored after a couple of pages. Therefore the act of reading itself is a good indicator of how clear my awareness is.
On a day-to-day basis, my attention can be as fragmented and sporadic as ever, but I am continually cultivating the capacity to notice the gaps and return to a place of centered attention. Even when I only remember to step out of the stream of thinking once a day, I realize that clarity, however infrequent is still clarity. Occasionally, I am able to see something I’ve done or said from an outside perspective, separate from my stories and my conditioning. In doing so I am able to make an unconscious pattern conscious, which is the first step in dissolving it.
I don’t feel the need to separate the different books I’ve read from one other, just as I don’t think my experiences inside and outside of the Dojo need to be entirely separate from one another. I tend to want to compartmentalize different areas of my life, be it: training, my day job, graphic design, music production, socializing, alone-time, family etc. There is something comforting about being able to go into a situation like that. “Ok. I am entering category 4B of my life, so here are the 3 parameters I can expect and the 5 people with whom I am most likely to interact.” This categorization undoubtedly feels safer, but there is a freshness in being able to be in a situation without feeling the need to label, judge, or compare it in any way. Going into a situation just as it is feels very vulnerable. The mind needs to at least believe that it knows what is going to happen. We need a reference point before we can be at ease with what is going on.

I realize reading, like training can only take me so far, but it is a good jumping off point for being more a little more awake and aware in day to day life. Learning to be in the world without superimposing our stories and on it is a daunting task to the mind, but it is perfectly natural for our spirit. I am always in fluctuation between being caught up in thoughts and experiencing the moment, but I know that all I have to do is stop and notice a breath or two and watch the pendulum swing back and forth, from story to reality.

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